Migration, diaspora and mental health

Culture shock usually shows up as irritability, exhaustion, sadness or anxiety in the first weeks or months in a new place. It can feel like everything is harder than it should be. If those feelings last longer than a few months or start to affect your sleep, eating or ability to get through the day, it may be something more, and it is worth talking to someone.

Very normal. Many people feel a quiet guilt about living far from parents or siblings, especially when they grow older or face difficulties. The guilt can sit alongside love, relief and even resentment, and that mix is part of the deal for many migrants.

Nothing is wrong with you. Belonging is not a switch that flips after a set number of years. It can ebb and flow, and some people never feel fully at home in their new country. That does not mean you have failed – it means you are living between worlds, which is its own kind of skill.

You should not have to handle them alone. Start by noting what was said, when and who witnessed it. If you feel safe, you can say something simple like "that comment was not okay" and then step away. Many workplaces have HR or a union, but if you are on a visa, you may want to get advice before raising a formal complaint.

Moving for a partner can mean losing your own work, friends and sense of purpose. They may feel grateful and trapped at the same time. You can help by making space for them to say that out loud without you defending yourself, and by supporting them to build their own life here, not just a life with you.

That pressure is real and heavy. Many students carry the hopes of their whole family, and it can feel like every grade is a report on whether their sacrifice was worth it. Try to separate your worth from your results, and find one person in your new city who you can be honest with about how hard it is.

Grief without a body, a grave or a gathering is lonely. You can create your own ritual: light a candle at the time of the funeral, write a letter, ask someone to share a recording or photos. It will not replace being there, but it gives your grief somewhere to go.

Many parents feel this as a quiet loss. It can help to make your home language part of everyday life, not a lesson: songs, stories, video calls with grandparents. And remember that your children may understand more than they can say. The bond is not gone, it is just changing shape.

If your feelings are making it hard to work, eat, sleep or take care of yourself for more than two weeks, that is a good time to reach out. Also if you are having thoughts of harming yourself, or if you feel numb and disconnected from everything for a long stretch. A therapist who understands migration can help you sort what is normal from what needs more support.

It is possible, though it may take some searching. You can ask your GP or family doctor, look for diaspora community organisations, or use online platforms that let you filter by language and background. Therapy O'Clock is one place that does this. Some therapists also work with interpreters, so you do not have to settle for someone who does not get where you come from.

That fear is common and often accurate. Reverse culture shock is real: home has changed, and so have you. You may feel like a stranger in both places for a while. That does not mean you made the wrong choice – it means you are navigating a third space that only people who have left and come back really understand.