Teenage mental health: signs your teen is struggling

Normal moodiness or something more?

Teenage years bring hormonal changes, exams, friendships and a growing need for independence. Some moodiness and wanting privacy is normal. Warning signs include changes that are big, lasting and affect daily life:

• withdrawing from family and friends for weeks;
• losing interest in things they used to love;
• sleeping much more or much less;
• big changes in eating or weight;
• falling grades or refusing school;
• persistent irritability, anger or tearfulness;
• talking about feeling worthless or hopeless;
• signs of self-harm, such as cuts, burns or covering arms in warm weather;
• using alcohol or drugs.

Pressures on South Asian teenagers abroad

• Academic pressure and expectations to become a doctor, engineer or lawyer
• Living between home culture and school culture
• Restrictions on friendships, dating or going out
• Questions about identity, faith and belonging
• Racism or Islamophobia at school or online
• Feeling unable to talk to parents about emotions

How to talk to your teenager

• Choose side-by-side moments, such as driving or cooking, rather than face-to-face interrogations.
• Ask open questions: "How have things been with your friends?"
• Listen more than you speak, and avoid lecturing.
• Stay calm even if what you hear is upsetting.
• Let them know they can always come to you.

Self-harm

If you discover your teenager is self-harming, stay calm. Self-harm is usually a way of coping with overwhelming feelings, not attention-seeking. Tell them you are glad they are alive and that you want to help. Seek professional support, and get urgent medical help for serious injuries.

Suicidal thoughts

If your teenager talks about wanting to die, take it seriously. Ask directly, stay with them and contact a crisis line or emergency services if they are at immediate risk.

Getting help

Therapy can help teenagers with depression, anxiety, self-harm and identity struggles. Some teens prefer a therapist who understands their cultural background; others prefer someone outside the community. Let them have a say.

Questions people ask

How do I know if my teenager is depressed or just moody?

Look for changes that last weeks, affect daily life and include withdrawal, loss of interest, sleep changes, falling grades or talk of hopelessness.

What should I do if my teenager is self-harming?

Stay calm, listen without anger, reassure them you want to help, get medical care for injuries and seek professional support.

How do I talk to my teenager about mental health?

Choose relaxed moments, ask open questions, listen more than you talk, and avoid judgement or lectures.

Why won't my teenager talk to me?

Wanting privacy is normal at this age. Keep the door open, spend low-pressure time together, and accept they may talk to another trusted adult.

Can academic pressure cause depression in teens?

Intense pressure, especially with fear of disappointing parents, can contribute to anxiety and depression.

Does my teenager need my permission for therapy?

This depends on age and country. Younger teens usually need parental consent; older teens may be able to seek help independently.

Will my teen's therapist tell me everything?

Usually not. Therapists keep details confidential to build trust but will share concerns about safety.

What are warning signs of suicide in teenagers?

Talking about death or wanting to die, giving away belongings, withdrawing, sudden calm after distress, or searching for ways to harm themselves. Seek help immediately.

Can social media affect my teen's mental health?

It can affect sleep, self-esteem and exposure to bullying. Talk about it openly rather than only imposing bans.

Can a therapist help my teenager with identity issues?

Yes. Therapy can help teens explore questions about culture, faith and belonging in a safe space.