Bullying: how to help a child who is being bullied
Children often hide bullying out of shame or fear of making it worse. Knowing the signs helps you step in early.
Signs a child may be bullied
- Not wanting to go to school or a particular activity
- Unexplained injuries, torn clothes or lost belongings
- Changes in eating or sleeping
- Becoming withdrawn, anxious or angry
- Falling grades
- Being upset after using their phone or the internet
- Losing friends or avoiding social situations
Types of bullying
- Physical: hitting, pushing, damaging belongings
- Verbal: name-calling, threats, mocking
- Social: excluding, spreading rumours
- Online: messages, posts, group chats, sharing images
- Racist or religious bullying: comments about skin colour, food, clothing, hijab, accent or faith
What to do as a parent
- Listen calmly and thank them for telling you.
- Reassure them it is not their fault.
- Ask what they would like to happen; involve them in decisions.
- Keep a record of incidents, including screenshots.
- Contact the school and ask about their anti-bullying policy.
- Follow up until things change.
What not to do
- Do not tell them to "just ignore it" or "hit back".
- Do not confront the bully or their parents directly in anger.
- Do not take away their phone as punishment for being bullied online.
The emotional impact
Bullying can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, depression and, in severe cases, self-harm. Children who face racist bullying may also feel ashamed of their identity or culture.
How therapy helps
Therapy can help a child rebuild confidence, process difficult experiences, manage anxiety and develop ways to cope. It can also help parents support their child.
Questions people ask
How do I know if my child is being bullied?
Look for reluctance to go to school, unexplained injuries or lost belongings, mood changes, sleep problems, and being upset after using their phone.
What should I do if my child is bullied at school?
Listen, reassure them, keep records, contact the school and follow up until the situation improves.
Should I tell my child to hit back?
No. This can get your child into trouble and escalate the situation. Work with the school instead.
How do I deal with racist bullying?
Record what happened, report it to the school as racist bullying, and talk to your child about pride in their identity.
What can I do about cyberbullying?
Keep screenshots, help your child block and report the bully, inform the school, and contact the platform or police if threats are made.
Can bullying cause depression?
Yes. Being bullied can lead to anxiety, depression and low self-esteem, sometimes lasting into adulthood.
Should I take my child's phone away if they are bullied online?
Usually no; it can feel like punishment and stop them telling you in future. Help them use privacy and blocking tools instead.
When should a bullied child see a therapist?
If they show lasting anxiety, low mood, self-harm, school refusal or loss of confidence.
What if the school does not act on bullying?
Put concerns in writing, ask for a meeting, and escalate to school governors or the local education authority if needed.
Can adults be bullied too?
Yes. Bullying and harassment at work or within families can affect adults deeply. Therapy can help.