Living abroad: loneliness, homesickness and adjusting to a new country

What people feel

• Homesickness and missing family events
• Loneliness, especially in the first year
• Guilt about leaving parents behind
• Stress about visas, work permits and money
• Feeling like an outsider at work or in the neighbourhood
• Racism or discrimination
• Losing professional status, for example qualifications not recognised

Marriage migration

Women and men who move abroad after marriage often face extra challenges: a new country, a new family, sometimes limited independence or language barriers. Isolation can become a serious problem.

When grief happens far away

Losing a parent or grandparent back home, and not being able to travel for the funeral, can bring a particularly heavy grief. Missing weddings, births and Eid together adds up.

Ways to cope

• Stay connected with family through regular calls, without making them your only support.
• Build local connections: community groups, mosques, temples, gurdwaras, sports, classes.
• Keep familiar routines: food, music, prayer, festivals.
• Explore your new home and find small pleasures.
• Be patient; adjusting often takes a year or more.

When it becomes more

If loneliness turns into lasting low mood, anxiety, sleep problems or hopelessness, it may be depression or anxiety. See signs of depression.

How therapy helps

Therapy can help you process the losses that come with migration, cope with stress and build a life that feels like your own. Many people abroad prefer a therapist who speaks their language and understands the journey.

Questions people ask

Is it normal to feel lonely after moving abroad?

Yes, very. Loneliness is common, especially in the first year, and usually eases as you build connections.

How long does it take to adjust to a new country?

It varies, but many people take a year or more to feel settled.

Can moving abroad cause depression?

The losses and stresses of migration can contribute to depression, especially without support.

How do I cope with homesickness?

Stay in touch with family, keep familiar routines, build local friendships and give yourself time.

How do I cope with grief when I cannot travel home?

Find ways to mourn where you are: prayers, gatherings, talking about the person. Therapy can help with grief from a distance.

How can I make friends in a new country?

Join community, faith, sports or interest groups, and say yes to invitations even when it feels hard.

What if I face racism at work?

Keep records, use workplace reporting procedures, seek support, and get advice from employment or legal services if needed.

Can visa stress affect mental health?

Yes. Uncertainty about immigration status can cause significant anxiety and sleep problems.

Is online therapy available in my language abroad?

Yes. Therapy O'Clock connects people abroad with professionals who speak Urdu, Punjabi, Pashto and English.

I moved abroad for marriage and feel isolated. What can I do?

Seek connections outside the home, talk to someone you trust, and consider therapy. If you feel controlled or unsafe, contact a support service.