"Log kya kahenge?" Mental health stigma in South Asian communities

Where the stigma comes from

• Izzat (honour): fear that a family member's struggles will bring shame on the whole family.
• Marriage prospects: worry that a history of mental illness will affect rishtas, for the person or their siblings.
• Gossip: close-knit communities where news travels fast.
• Misunderstanding: beliefs that depression is laziness, anxiety is weakness, or mental illness means being "pagal".
• Spiritual explanations: seeing problems only as nazar, jinn or weak iman.

How stigma stops people getting help

• People hide symptoms for years.
• Families seek only spiritual remedies, or none.
• Problems are described as physical, so doctors treat the body and miss the mind.
• Women may be told to be patient and endure.
• Men may turn to work, anger or substances instead of talking.

The cost of silence

Untreated anxiety and depression affect marriages, children, careers and physical health. In the worst cases, they can lead to self-harm or suicide. The cost of staying silent is higher than the cost of being talked about.

Attitudes are changing

• Young people are talking about mental health openly online and at university.
• Mosques, gurdwaras and temples are hosting mental health talks.
• Religious scholars are encouraging people to seek help.
• Public figures from the community are sharing their experiences.

You can start the change

• Use simple, non-judgemental language.
• Ask a family member how they really are.
• Share accurate information.
• If you need help, get it. Your wellbeing matters more than gossip.

Privacy matters

One reason people choose online therapy is privacy. There is no clinic waiting room where a neighbour might see you. Sessions are confidential, and nobody needs to know unless you choose to tell them.

Questions people ask

Why do South Asian families avoid talking about mental health?

Concerns about honour, gossip, marriage prospects and beliefs that mental illness reflects weakness or weak faith.

What is izzat and how does it affect mental health?

Izzat means honour or reputation. Fear of damaging family izzat can stop people seeking help or admitting they are struggling.

Will having therapy affect my marriage prospects?

Therapy is confidential and does not need to be shared with anyone. Getting help usually makes people healthier partners.

Is mental illness the same as being 'pagal'?

No. Mental health problems like anxiety and depression are common health conditions, not madness. Language like this adds stigma.

How can I reduce stigma in my family?

Talk openly, use kind language, share accurate information, and show that seeking help is a sign of strength.

Are religious leaders supporting mental health?

Increasingly, yes. Many imams and scholars now speak about mental health and encourage seeking professional help.

Why do women in our community often suffer in silence?

Expectations to put family first, endure hardships with patience, and avoid bringing shame can stop women from speaking up.

Can stigma make mental health worse?

Yes. Shame and secrecy can deepen depression and anxiety and delay treatment.

Is online therapy more private than a clinic?

Many people find it more private, as there is no waiting room and sessions happen from home.

How do I respond when relatives judge me for having therapy?

You do not owe anyone an explanation. A short, calm answer such as "It's helping me" is enough.